I had a disease
I never even knew about it
It has been growing
Inside of me
For years
I don’t know when it started
I don’t know when it will end
But i finally realized the other day
It’s a feeling that nothing will ever be right
Nothing will ever be okay
Because you lost something
(Maybe it wasn’t yours to lose in the first place)
A feeling of despair
So strong
You tell yourself what happened was just a dream
You can’t accept this reality
So you ascribe to it a different meaning
Even though it’s obvious
You keep trying so hard
To hold the door open
Even when everything else is yanking it closed
That is what I’ve been going through
That is the battle I’m fighting
That is what it’s like to be depressed
Amanda Michelle Brown 