how are you feeling
they ask
they want to know
about now
but I’m not worried about now
it’s when I see her
shriveled up
out of it
when her mood changes
and she can’t warn me
to not put my art projects
on the table
it’s when I come back from
a terrible day
to a beshawled apparition
whirring with drains
ashamed
won’t listen to me telling her she’s beautiful
/
your heart is in me
in the videos I watch
the posts I’ve written
the projects I’ve created
the songs I listen to
the glares I give
the sass I pull
even my love of rice cakes
/
i
can’t
watch
you
waste
away
/
a poem written in light of my mom’s cancer. if anything, her diagnosis has been a kickstart back into my writing poetry.
Amanda Michelle Brown 