depression – Amanda Michelle Brown

i did a photo series inspired by my debut novel

Photography is a sweet solace for me, if not a bit chaotic. When I get an idea, I pull out my camera and begin snapping. I live by myself so I have to rely on my camera’s self-timer, which can be frustrating. I wouldn’t have it any other way, though. That frustration—that marriage between ideaContinue reading “i did a photo series inspired by my debut novel”

it wasn’t supposed to be like this

I cant stop thinking It wasn’t supposed to be like this But I have to keep remembering This is a lie Bc I have a savior Who promises that Because I’m his I’m always where I’m meant to be Whether in a valley Or the sunniest of mountaintops It All Has Reason It All HasContinue reading “it wasn’t supposed to be like this”

LOADING

It’s okay to cry // Cleanse the soul Restart the heart Eject the pain // Loading… Loading… Triumph. The disk may be a little scratched But that makes the process More growing.

lost

she’s lost like always and too scared to stop or to turn she just keeps going straight too stunned too paralyzed too broken to do anything else through tears she thinks if he were still here if he hadn’t given me up if he hadn’t left I could call him and he’d guide me home he’dContinue reading “lost”

enough

It’s not enough to say you’re a Christian and say you believe God is enough but when you’re tested you break— Do you believe? Like REALLY, TRULY believe? Do you believe these words they’re singing? Do you believe that God robed himself in the flesh to send someone to be beaten and bruised so youContinue reading “enough”

BLUE

part of the color series Blue is the color of driving home by yourself after a rough day, the wind drying the tears on your trembling face. Blue is seeing an old friend whom a misunderstanding has distanced you from. It’s feeling absolutely, uncontrollably alone; being surrounded by people that care nothing for you. ButContinue reading “BLUE”

WHAT BROKEN LOOKS LIKE

Broken looks like: Falling asleep to the rhythm of Gasps through tears. Sitting in bed, Drowning in the darkness, Lifting your hands to the heaven Because in and of yourself You can’t, You just can’t. // Broken looks like Taking late night walks Under the stars, Reminding yourself you’re Really small And it’s okay TheContinue reading “WHAT BROKEN LOOKS LIKE”

DISEASED

I had a disease I never even knew about it It has been growing Inside of me For years I don’t know when it started I don’t know when it will end But i finally realized the other day It’s a feeling that nothing will ever be right Nothing will ever be okay Because youContinue reading “DISEASED”

BROKE

It finally happened: She broke. It was different than she thought it would be. She had thought It would be like Uncontrollable bouts of crying; Waves of restricted breathing; A feeling of falling down an empty hole. But it wasn’t. It was more like Denial. Even though it was Plainer than day, It was differentContinue reading “BROKE”

WATERPROOF

Is says on the packaging That my mascara is “Waterproof.” But it isn’t. As I cry My tears scrape up the Black ash And smear it beneath my eyes, Publicly displaying My dismal position. Waterproof. Yeah right. A lot of things aren’t waterproof. Some things dissolve in water, Gone in a second.Continue reading “WATERPROOF”